posted by Nk. at 7:38 PM

Just came from church. Today is Ash Wednesday.

For Catholics, Ash Wednesday is an important part of worship, as it marks the beginning of the Lenten fast. As a custom, this is where the priest marks the forehead of the faithful with the sign of the cross, a symbolism of penance -- thus the words, "repent."

So i went to church after work. St. Raphael Church in Legazpi was jampacked, it felt like we were lining up for some box-office movie. I haven't been to church for a long time -- and it felt a bit weird to be in church suddenly. Before deciding to go to church and magpakrus i thought about the time i last went to confession, or why i haven't been attending mass lately. i can not come up with neither a reason nor an excuse why i haven't been attending to my religious duties. i readily admit to not being particularly religious, but no, i am not an atheist, nor will i ever become one. i can say that i have a relationship with God, and i pray and avoid violating the Ten Commandments as much as i can...most of the time i feel that yes, someone, something bigger than life, time, existence is paying attention, sometimes i think that my needs and wants are far too trivial to ask compared to the problems of the rest of the world. in short, i trust God's plans for me and refrain from asking things that i may not need because He or She has not given it to me yet. does that make sense?

anyway.

so i went to church.

and as i lined up there with the city's so-called faithful, i wondered just how many of these people took the marks on their foreheads seriously. i wondered just how many of the hundreds of people there really repented - like what the sacrament calls for, and how many, after receiving this Holy Sacrament, went back to cheating their girlfriends. or stealing from others. or refusing to help their needy neighbor because he looks like a thief.

does the holy mark on the forehead help?

i still don't know.