and she is? watching you. lulz.
still want to know?


  • Currently obsessed about: THE BEACH, THE BEACH!!!
  • Currently loving : photography and play time
  • Currently singing to : Meiko's Boys With Girlfriends
  • Currently reading : Michael Crichton's Next
  • next in line : Dork Whore
  • Currently craving : 1. a vacation somewhere where there's sand, sea, and shore. 2. that sinful, orgasm-inducing chocolate cake from Cyma 3. a DVD copy of Ang Lee's 1997 film, The Ice Storm 4. YOU.
  • currently advocating: come on, do something guys! Save The Elephants
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talk to me.


“If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?”~Gloria Steinem

had enough (of me)? here's the way out.
major thoroughfares.
familiar places (people i know).
delightful back alleys.
random finds.

Don't hold your love over my head ~ Come Back To Bed (john mayer)


banner: image not author's own, tweaked picture found in google. layout: tweaked blogskin by inksplash. labor: my cousin val. everything else: me.
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May 29, 2008
posted by Nk. at 5:34 PM

Can I just say that I have developed a love for hand dryers?

I like how it warms my cold hands, and how the sound it makes as I dry and dance my hands underneath just drowns out everything. Everything, including my own thoughts.

That's nice. Next to being too busy to hear myself think.

And i'm high enough from all the waiting
To ride a wave on your inhaling

~ Frou Frou, Breathe In

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May 27, 2008
posted by Nk. at 3:58 PM

I woke up at the wrong side of the bed this morning and found myself alternating between hating the universe and feeling like shit. It didn't help that I wasn't able to sleep well (again) last night despite going to bed earlier than usual. Earlier, and fed and fat.

Going through the motions, I got up, bathed, got dressed, went to work, proceeded to my new isolation chamber corner at the office, and listened to my brain cells degenerate to the sound of my keyboard clicking. No, I'm not complaining about my job no. It could be just the blues or maybe it's just that time of the month or it could be the gloomy weather or it could be this feeling of getting used to this or it could be a hundred different things.

I don't know.

I'm just sad today.

So 'scuse me, but this Tuesday is emo.

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May 21, 2008
posted by Nk. at 4:38 PM

The thing about getting drunk is that you never know what kind of entertainment you will become after the spirits take over. In my case last Saturday -- when we threw a house parteeeh in celebration of singlehood and many other things -- it was the spirit that would unfortunately be video-ed by my very entertained guests. Who fortunately, I can count on to not post it in a blog like this (and I'm looking atchu, Vince. Also you, Rad).

yes, just a tipsy shot.
because I intend to keep my dignity (or whatever's left of it) intact.

Good thing I was home, lah.


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May 16, 2008
posted by Nk. at 2:21 PM

Muffin news:

What a sweet looking thing yes? But wait until he gets out of the cage. He bites everything in sight -- the carpet, your shoes, the laundry bag, your hand, your face, your toes -- anything he can sink his little teeth into.

I can has your index finger nao?

But it's alright. We loves him anyways. And the little diva knows it too, haha.

More Muffin time here.

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May 15, 2008
posted by Nk. at 7:34 AM

So I woke up at 3:30 this morning and found myself contemplating about things.

A brawl between drunks took place in front of our apartment last night. Seconds after the shouting, cursing, and flailing of weapons -- my house mates and I found ourselves staring at what hopefully was not a dead person lying just a few feet away from where we stood. Scared shitless we frantically locked our doors and ran to the safety of our rooms as the neighborhood went into hysterics.

Safe in our room we ended up talking about the stupid things we've done that we now prefer to call accidents. Like the time I was twelve and I jumped out of a moving tricycle just to see if I can land on the ground upright. Of course I did. Land on my face, that is.

Moral of the story: contemplation at 3:30 in the morning = FAIL.

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May 14, 2008
posted by Nk. at 7:25 AM

Like my occasional smoking, some things I decide to quit with a certain amount of procrastination. I don't need to be reminded that smoking is bad for my health, and I don't even like smoking - it doesn't taste good, it doesn't help me think clearly, or think, for that matter.

In fact, smoking fogs my mind, makes me a little breathless, and dizzy, weak in the knees. One stick and I have to move slow, else I trip on my own two feet and fall flat on my face. But I still smoke, occasionally. When I need to not think, when I need to be away, even during break time, when everyone's chatting and relaxing and having their fifteen minutes window to freely discuss stuff like how unbelievable that pick up line she gave was, or how you should have worn flat normal shoes instead of the hideous things you have on your feet this morning, or why the world isn't flat, or why that diet tea you've been taking for weeks now is not working and you're still fat.

And no it's not a hard habit to break. I'm not crazy about cigarettes, and I will not run amok if cigarettes suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth.

There's just this unexplainable, totally unnecessary pleasure in engaging in something you can do without - like things that aren't permanent, or even real, but you like anyway.

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May 10, 2008
posted by Nk. at 7:29 AM

It feels like a house that has burned itself to the ground.


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May 9, 2008
posted by Nk. at 4:03 PM

You heard about us getting ourselves rabbits some days ago, rite?

So we got bored, and just had to spend some more of our disposable income. To Tiendesitas we go (with the intention of only unwinding after a stressful day's work), and after several hours of ooohhhhhh-ing and aaaaahhh-ing and aaaaawwwwww-ing over this, that, and this, we go home very unexpectedly with this cutie:

the human is Juliet, the little furball is our new baby Muffin

I totally fell in love with this guy, but he costs 25 freaking thousand pesos (which I clearly can not afford unless I sell a kidney or some other organ which nobody would want anyway) so I just settled for a little kiss:

so how does my facial moisturizer taste, love?

But Muffin, what a happy.

I wish I could take in all the dogs in the pet store though. I hate seeing them in cages.

a dog after my own heart.

Also, I'm depressed because The Camera went back home already. What a sad. ='(

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May 6, 2008
posted by Nk. at 10:20 AM

While eating at McDonald's yesterday it suddenly occurred to me that I want to have kids of my own. Probably two boys I'll call Joaquin and Caleb, or a girl I'll name Amitiel. Earlier that day I watched Resurrecting the Champ (dibede, dibede) at home and something in a tender scene between Josh Hartnett and his son stirred my maternal instincts from the dead from its stupor. Maybe it's because that little boy was just so cute with the gaps in his little boy teeth or the way he rubbed his little boy face with his little boy hand was just too adorable for my cold, single heart. Or maybe it's because I secretly wish to be the mother of Josh Hartnett's future, precious children (the way I want to bring Hugh Grant home to my parents, even though he could be just some years older than my own father).

But I am not exactly looking forward to getting pregnant -- and the nine or god forbid, 24 hours of labor that comes with it -- the high point of which will be me screaming my lungs out and cursing the father, his parents, neighbors, dogs, and water delivery guy, while several people I have never seen in my whole life peer at my err, opening. So no, probably not anytime soon.

Also, the child seated behind me last night at McDonald's sputtered fries and saliva in my direction. I don't think I like that very much.


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May 3, 2008
posted by Nk. at 1:04 PM

(My Kahlua organizer, which has so far, failed to organize my life.)

Thanks to my good friend Emir, who lent me three books: Carson McCullers' Reflections in a Golden Eye and The Ballad of the Sad Cafe, and Jeff Noon's Pixel Juice. These books will help keep me sane in case my friends prove no shows again for the weekend (because they're always busy, *scowl*) and I'm left to choose between having discussions about the weather with my other personalities or play Matira Ang Matibay sa Gran Matador with Mang Pong, the compound's caretaker.

I know Carson McCullers' books aren't exactly happy happy stories -- I've read The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter several years ago and I remember slashing my wrists and almost getting admitted to rehab for depression. Okay, not true. The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter left me a heartache, that's what. But it was a great read, no doubt about it.


I'm thinking of getting into reading Manga, but don't know where or what to start with. I heard about Death Note but I heard these stuff are pretty pricey. And you know me, more often than not I leave the bookstore in tears because the books I want are so darn expensive.

Also, I want to catch this.

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May 2, 2008
posted by Nk. at 8:20 AM

I see everything.

...But most people are lazy. They never look at everything. They do what is called glancing, which is the same word for bumping off something and carrying on in almost the same direction, e.g., when a snooker ball glances off another snooker ball. And the information in their head is really simple. For example, if they are in the countryside, it might be

1. I am standing in a field that is full of grass.
2. There are some cows in the fields.
3. It is sunny with a few clouds.
4. There are some flowers in the grass.
5. There is a village in the distance.
6. There is a fence at the edge of the field and it has a gate in it.

And then they would stop noticing because they would be thinking something else like, "Oh it is very beautiful here," or "I'm worried that I might have left the gas cooker on," or "I wonder if Julie has given birth yet."

~ (Christopher Boone, from The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time)

A conversation with an officemate this morning, after mooning over a delightful find in flickr:

me: my heart is aching for a dslr
me: lol
officemate: isang
officemate: kaskas
officemate: lang
officemate: ng bago mong credit card
me: which is equivalent to permanent poverty for niki
officemate: look on the bright side, no more heart aches
me: just temporary ones
me: hahaha

I'm afraid you're right, Christopher.

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