and she is? watching you. lulz.
still want to know?


  • Currently obsessed about: THE BEACH, THE BEACH!!!
  • Currently loving : photography and play time
  • Currently singing to : Meiko's Boys With Girlfriends
  • Currently reading : Michael Crichton's Next
  • next in line : Dork Whore
  • Currently craving : 1. a vacation somewhere where there's sand, sea, and shore. 2. that sinful, orgasm-inducing chocolate cake from Cyma 3. a DVD copy of Ang Lee's 1997 film, The Ice Storm 4. YOU.
  • currently advocating: come on, do something guys! Save The Elephants
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talk to me.


“If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?”~Gloria Steinem

had enough (of me)? here's the way out.
major thoroughfares.
familiar places (people i know).
delightful back alleys.
random finds.

Don't hold your love over my head ~ Come Back To Bed (john mayer)


banner: image not author's own, tweaked picture found in google. layout: tweaked blogskin by inksplash. labor: my cousin val. everything else: me.
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January 31, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:02 AM

please don't make us cry, manny

i woke up to manny pacquiao's mother almost begging her son not to run for public office, on national television. the champ says he wants to help his countrymen, and that naaawa kasi sya sa kanyang mga kababayan.

Magandang Umaga, Pilipinas host julius babao, thank god, short of told him to stick to boxing because he can help, and has already helped a lot of his kababayan even without a government post. julius says manny can build a foundation, do private work -- yes, almost begging manny too, to think very hard about entering politics. manny insists that he can help the country more if he was in public office, because his own money is not enough to help everyone he wanted to help. the word money made me cringe. equating money with government service is a dangerous concept. i would like to think that manny is just being politically naive, instead of hedging on the thought that it is the "moneymaker" in him that is doing the talking.

i thought Aling Dionisia would cry. i wanted to cry too. i mean, manny, for the love of God and country, please don't.

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January 29, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:50 PM

MiG Ayesa.

course i can't have him.

already married and does not know i exist.

but at least i can listen to him sing.

waaaaaaaaa i want his album.

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posted by Nk. at 5:01 PM

i heard that myspace is currently in hot water because it is becoming a hot bed for prostitution...and all kinds of perversities.

there are a LOT of screwed people in the world, and if you're not careful, your "need for a better life" will be your ticket to doomsdom.

several months ago i received a message in my inbox that read:

WWW.PRETTYPINAYS.COM is now giving out alot of prizes and rewards for referring new members.

You will get 500 pesos for every man you refer who becomes a paying member...

The prizes are sent - Western Union, Smart Money,Pera Padala...... - So, if you want to meet a serious man from around the world and make some extra money....

Plus have a chance to earn 50,000.00pesos.. And a chance to work in USA..


Join my friends list at


**end of message*

can you say freaking networking??? and this one is one big perverted business. already reported it to myspace.

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posted by Nk. at 1:07 PM

fore·clo·sure (fôr-klō'zhər, fōr-)


- The act of foreclosing, especially a legal proceeding by which a mortgage is foreclosed.

- The process of ending a mortgage and taking away the mortgaged property.

how do you deal with the prospect of getting evicted from your own home? my mother sat beside our dining table, staring blankly into space. we have had this problem hovering us for a while now, in between moving on with life, members of the family argue on what solution to take. my mother, now retired from her employment from a government agency, and having spent her retirement benefits on things like new stuff for the house, payment of debts, everything else except the mortgage (which was big, considering how much payments she and my father missed over the years) - has set her eyes on my sister (who works in a government agency, thus the benefits) to have a loan. here's one thing me and my sister agree on, the unfairness of this solution. see why should children suffer for the wrong decisions and wrong moves their parents have made in the past? my sister and i have our lives to lead too, and i am appalled by the thought of paying my parents' debts until i too, retire from work. it is unfair, and is not right.

i'm all for children helping their parents, taking care of them, giving back the love and the sacrifice as much as they can. but i was never a believer of the predominantly Filipino way of thinking that kids were born on this planet to serve their parents. before i am a daughter, i am a human being - with my own dreams, mistakes to make, heartaches to suffer, triumphs to celebrate - my own life to live. if my sister and i were to carry our parents' burdens, where does that leave our own plans for our lives?

so my parents are now off to the lending agency, to talk this out.

whatever comes out of it, we just have to deal with it. i prefer to see this with an open mind, rather than sulk in a corner and think of how painful it would be to leave a place filled with so much memories. "namamatay naman ang tao ng maayos na umuupa ng bahay," my dad said before he and my mother left. i guess old age gives you that kind of resignation.

i much rather prefer to train my eyes on the future - which may or may not exist, rather than on the past - which, no matter how many times you span the church floor on your knees - will never be changed.

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posted by Nk. at 1:32 AM

i was trying to restrain myself from watching too much of princess hours. scenes like this and this and this are just too much for my bleeding heart.

i am sooo losing this fight.

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January 28, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:36 AM

listening to middle eastern music...a song called kill the messenger by badawi...between wanting to get up and belly-dance and do carpet rides, i'm reminded that my dream is to travel the world...capture the color...sort of like this...

hopefully next time i'd be the one behind the lens. darnit i miss my phone. it was officially pronounced dead last week. i do not want to remember anymore the series of unfortunate events that led to its demise. so no camwhoring for me and my subjects until i buy a new phone. just the saddest thing, really.

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January 27, 2007
posted by Nk. at 1:47 PM





somebody throw me a bib, please.

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posted by Nk. at 8:40 AM

bad headache today. not really a headache, but a head-ache. it's really not a good idea to argue and try to get my point across to someone like my mother - whose mind has its own reinforced great wall of china, not to mention the rock of gibraltar. i'm even beginning to think that she secretly believes she's a god, out to control the whys and wherefores of everything that exists around her -- including the time and manner dogs have to bark.

dear as she is to me, sometimes i wish i was on my own...preferably in a cozy flat somewhere far, like in another continent. so i wouldn't have to explain why i cannot sleep on her time, or why i cannot write during daytime only, or why i do not share her exact same thoughts, wants, and needs.

If you got nuttin, baby boy, you betta
"Git Up, Git Out and get somethin" Shit!
~ Amil with Jay-Z, Can I Get A

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January 25, 2007
posted by Nk. at 8:54 PM

wow ang galing talaga ng Pinoy!

in the February 2007 Issue of the billiards' "bible" Billiards Digest, pinoy billiard players dominated the magazine's honor roll. in the magazine's 11th annual BD Awards, Efren "bata" Reyes was named Most Outstanding Performance (Men), Ronnie Alcano was Most Improved Player (Men), and Dennis Orcollo was cited as Breakout Player of the Year (Men).

Businessman and Billiards and Snooker Congress of the Philippines (BSCP) chairman Yen Makabenta was also named Man of the Year for leading the "staging of pro events, starting a national billiard academy to develop new players, and creating an official ranking system". considering the philippine government's almost non-existent support system in the area of sports (except for the proverbial photo ops with the powers that be when athletes bring titles home with them), this is quite a feat.

BD's Year's Biggest Story also went to the country:
"The Philippines Rules Pool. Yes, we all knew that the Philippines produced more than its fair share of world class players. But in 2006, the "Philippine Invasion" turned into a full-on Occupation. In addition to established names like Reyes, Bustamante, and Pagulayan, players such as Danny Orcollo, Ronnie Alcano, Marlon Manalo and Rodolfo Luat terrorized the men's circuit. Consider this: there was at least one Filipino in the final of the five richest events of the year, and three were won by Filipinos. At the IPT North American Open, there were seven Filipinos left in the final 18, although the country's contingent accounted for a mere 6-percent of the 200-player field. Even more frightening, the notoriously freewheeling country recently began a push to organize and train players, bringing to light a whole new wave of talents who were on display at this year's World Pool Championship in manila. that the WPD will likely remain on the island nation for 2007 in so comfort to the rest of the globe."

wohow. we occasionally get off our lazy asses and decide to do something and the world gets scaaared. just think if we decided to do really good. as a nation you know? oh, the possibilities!

my favorite part of the BD article was the one about Ralf Souquet, who lost to Ronnie Alcano in the final of the WPC -- i actually watched the finals live on TV and felt really proud of being pinoy when the Filipinos started to cheer Souquet's name after he became emotional while being interviewed by anthony suntay after the game. for that, BD named Manila the CLASSIEST CROWD OF THE YEAR. here's the part:

"After Ralf Souquet lost to Ronnie Alcano in the final of the WPC, the usually level-headed German couldn't contain his disappointment and frustration during a tableside interview and broke down. The Filipino crowd, which numbered more than 1,000, spontaneously began chanting "Sou-quet! Sou-quet!" and applauding until he lifted his head and waved. It was a genuine exchange of respect and gratitude that no one will soon forget."

still, there's nothing, and no one, like the Filipino. Astig ka pa rin Pinoy!

O.T. ito, isang pang astig na pinoy! Suzanne Llanera of Animal Kingdom Foundation: rescues and gives refuge to stray dogs/dogs out to be clobbered to death for some people's perverted meals. would love to volunteer in your facility one of these days ma'am.

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posted by Nk. at 6:11 PM

"I keep waiting to meet a man who has more balls than i do."
~ salma hayek

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January 24, 2007
posted by Nk. at 6:59 PM

sad. my dad told me that a large dolphin was brought by some fishermen to our City Hall this afternoon. The poor animal was severely wounded -- apparently it had been attacked by other fishermen in the sea of Rapu-Rapu. The dolphin died, of course. So sad how humans can be so cruel to such a gentle creature.

another sad thing, the news says a prehistoric shark was found in Japan -- alive. until humans decided to take it away from its home at the deep end of the sea. of course it died too. tsk tsk.

funny. watching the news i cannot help but laugh at the politicians showing their true uglier colors now that election time is near. tito sotto and tessie aquino oreta switched to the administration party after finding out that their party mates in the opposition omitted their names in the senatorial list. tessie pouts to the camera-- we are sooooo not bati, kala ko pa naman friends tayo, she says and essentially grumbles about erap not keeping his word. kala nya kasi peborit sya. tito sotto tries his best to appear like he has actually achieved something for this country aside from make jokes in eat bulaga. to no avail. will alan peter cayetano ever measure up to his dad? as long as he acts like a spoiled brat no he won't, not even by a hair strand.

and manny, manny, manny...please i beg you, don't do it. and please, what's with the gun exemption for a freaking 20 firearms?? manny ha.

i like: omigaaah, Hillary Rodham Clinton is running for US President! i am soooo rooting for her! too bad i can't vote!

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January 23, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:43 PM

i'm having trouble sleeping these days. not that i haven't had trouble sleeping before...matagal na akong insomniac.

here's a quote that seems fit:

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake.
~Author Unknown

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January 22, 2007
posted by Nk. at 1:45 AM

thanks vava for sharing!


thank you tatay z. we loves you to pieces too. :)

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January 20, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:51 PM

waaaaaaaaah! why is it that all the good men are either taken, or gay??

today i learned that my childhood sweetheart of sweethearts, the guy to whom i dumped Fred Savage for, to whom i was willing to offer my firstborn to -- Dr. Doogie Howser M.D., aka Neil Patrick Harris - is *sob* gay!!

TV Guide says he officially came out in November 2006.

this is him as the Emcee in 2003's Cabaret
(he's been dabbling in theater and i heard he was good!)

i'm so heartbroken i'm going to buy myself new shoes.


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January 19, 2007
posted by Nk. at 10:21 AM

this morning i was able to catch a portion of Mayor Jejomar Binay and DILG Secretary Ronaldo Puno in Magandang Umaga Pilipinas -- debating on the issue of the police overkill during the what was supposed to be the forced eviction of Iloilo Governor Neil Tupas from the Iloilo Provincial Capitol a couple of days ago. though personally i thought the attack on the Iloilo Capitol was highly OA, listening to these two guys argue on who's evil and who's not in government just makes me want to plug the DVD and watch Titanic instead. i just know that all those with political ambitions will be jumping in on this issue and we will be flooded again with politicians and politician-wannabes doing what they do best - grandstanding and pulling ridiculous political stunts as if our lives did not depended on it. our lives, not theirs.

and then what little hope you have for this country will soon be crushed with the certainty that people like richard gomez thinking he is good enough for public office. kit writes a nice one on that, and i fully agree that there is no patriotism here - only greed and illusions of greatness.

that is why i think that entering public service should be like entering priesthood. those who want to be public servants should enter a seminary, live a monk-like life, shun the comfortable life and get this, get frigging high grades on all aspects of public service. please lang, bawal ang bobo.

now to make things even harder and the risks higher, have cameras and lapel mics every freaking where they go, ala Big Brother (but without the prize money). whether they grandstand or not, we be the judge of that.

that should make elections more interesting.


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posted by Nk. at 12:31 AM

if i hadn't been wandering the net this morning i wouldn't have learned that there's such a thing as sampaguita flavored ice cream. thanks to mulatala i now know that if i'd ever like a taste of this curious dessert i'd have to go to Cafe Ysabel in Greenhills. thanks que sara sara!

it's been over a month now since bagyong reming. our house isn't quite back to "normal" yet...some things have lost their places after the flood waters damaged some of our furniture and thus rendered their occupants homeless for the moment. hence the organized chaos of some sorts.

it's true that storms sometimes turn up old treasures. to me it came in the form of the journals i had years ago, kept under my bed in the small antique maleta of my lola (that my aunt gave me after she passed away). i started making journals young, so you can imagine just how much humiliation, insecurities, and generally symptoms of paranoia had been documented in those notebooks.

after the storm i found my diaries wet, soggy, the ink melting out into the pages rendering most of the entries unreadable. but i sun-dried them all anyway...i like the idea of when i'm old i'll get to share them with the grandkids. and laugh about them. your lola was one stupid girl apos.

was browsing through some of them that made it literally, through the storm. here's an entry i had dated October 17, 2002:

i wonder, how does God decide who wins the lottery, one like the prize tonight -- more than 200 million pesos? is it a matter of destiny? like it was written in the stars?

if it's a matter of faith, does that mean that those of us who never win lack in faith, maybe believed less, or prayed less? how does God decide who deserves the prize and who deserves to wait, and wonder? and to think that lottery is a form of gambling...maybe God draws the lucky ones, like in the lotto. (and the prize goes to ---- human being no. 685222100000963337411385246231314755!)

nah. God knows best. which means that whatever decision He makes is no product of "luck", but rather of careful thought.

what is luck anyway?

the same thing goes with love. how does God decide who's for whom, or who's to just easily turn the corner and bump into him and voila, soulmates? and while others find them easily, falling to their laps like serendipity, and others wait for ages?

do we get to meddle with His plan without messing up our own lives?

is God a dictator?

would He punish me for asking these questions?

i was also in the midst of reading Shirley Mclaine's Out on a Limb that time. talk about curiousities. i have lots, obviously.

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January 17, 2007
posted by Nk. at 10:24 PM

ok. so to cool my fuming head i went straight to the salon this afternoon from work...i wanted someone to pull my hair here and there to release the stress. i went for a hair spa (vanity, oh vanity) and loved the head massage...was so tired and stressed i almost fell over and slept...

i told the parlorista i was planning to curl my hair, i want curls i told her. she just kept on saying "ang relax kasi dito ma'am para ding rebond...up to 6 months...alagaan nyo lang po ng conditioner". i want curls, i repeated. dedmabels sya, she just kept on ironing my hair, blabbering on about the benefits of relaxed hair. i could only stare at the woman in speechless disbelief.

what is it about curling my hair that makes parloristas go deaf?

weeeee see the colorful candy here? we call it gatas-gatas. it's been my favorite candy since i was a kid. it's made up mainly of milk and sugar. it's just the yummiest!

haaaaaayyyyyyzzzzz. daniel powter is breaking my heart.

'Cause I'm the one that loves you lately.
You and me, we got this great thing.
We're the only one's that around,
We're the only one's that around this Babylon...
~ Love You Lately, Daniel Powter

* post script: watching the news now. or rather the circus going on with the forceful dismissal of some government officials. what on earth is happening? and the policemen hitting the student-protesters?

i don't have a good feeling about this.

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posted by Nk. at 2:56 PM

thank God for chocolate cakes.

i swear, had it not been for a chocolate cake nagkastroke sana ako ngayon sa sobrang imbyerna sa isang tao. i am aghast at how supposed friends can take their friends for granted just like that.

i suppose when you're a good friend to someone you shouldn't expect that he or she will give the favor back.

"You just cannot trust blindly" you say.

does that apply to our friendship too?

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January 14, 2007
posted by Nk. at 7:42 PM

Watched Blood Diamond with my sister last night. I must say that the film is thoroughly captivating, and pierces right through your moral beliefs (or what's left of it if you have any).

Not all movies which claim to have a "conscience" has one, and this movie had me soul-searching just like Hotel Rwanda did.

There have been a lot of reviews about this Ed Zwick (Glory, Courage Under Fire) film, from those saying that it's just another movie about Africa, to others praising it for daring to challenge the ethical choices we make in our everyday lives. Most of the folks at are cynical about Zwick's attempt at another "message film"but I have to say that for an average viewer like me just looking to be entertained, the intention of the film was not lost. I was reminded that there is Africa - where there has been (and maybe there still is) terrible bloodshed, where there are people with dreams just like us. That may sound cliche and sentimental, but i think it'll do people good if they watched more eye-opener films like these instead of regularly satiating themselves with just something that scares you out of your wits or succeeds at making you fart in the theater for laughing too hard. It's good to have a shot of reality every now and then.

And what can i say about Leonardo DiCaprio's performance? As the diamond-obsessed, emotionally-troubled former soldier Danny Archer, he is simply breath-taking and intense. Already his performance has him leading the way at the Screen Actors Guild (Sag) awards with two nominations for 'outstanding' performances (for both Blood Diamond and The Departed). This guy has certainly come a long, long way from teenybopper movies like Romeo and Juliet. Is he the Meryl Streep of his generation? I'm inclined to say so.

Danny Archer unfortunately, does not live long enough to see the end of this film. Yes comrades, brothers in arms, Leonardo DiCaprio dies in this film. The moment i realize that Danny Archer will not be getting out of Africa alive, i wanted to run screaming and bawling to the screen, "buhayin nyo sya!! buhayin nyo syaaaa waaa @&%#*^% nyo buhayin nyo sya!!!" *sabay tapon ng popcorn sa screen* I wanted to slap Jennifer Connelly (playing the idealistic journalist Maddy Bowen) for not kissing him, giving him some love when she had the chance. Fine it's not supposed to be a lovestory. but i'm pinoy and i like it when people love each other.

The other that gives a moving performance here is Djimon Hounsou (of Amistad fame) as Solomon Vandy, the fisherman who gets
separated from his family, and sent to work in the diamond fields. The scene where Solomon finally snaps and explodes in rage, killing Captain Poison (the cruel commander of the mine fields who kidnapped his son) - it was scary.

Blood Diamond is a shocking film, capturing the true horrors of the African civil war -- which most of the rest of the civil world couldn't care less about. After the film it's up to you to examine your conscience or not - and do something about it. But if there's one thing you'll certainly feel after or during the movie, it's being thankful that you are where you are, reading this blog, and not somewhere that, quoting Danny Archer in the film - "God has left a long time ago".

Labels: ,

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January 13, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:50 PM

it's constantly raining and gloomy outside.
i miss the beach.
and my old friends.
has life finally caught up with us?


i long for someone who will hold my hand to his heart even when i'm asleep and dreaming.
- heard myself thinking yesterday

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posted by Nk. at 2:39 PM

ok. so i'm saying, why not a Technorati Profile?

it's 3:00 p.m., -- an hour more and work's over...i'm supposed to work, but here i am trying to make a living. does that make sense???

perhaps my brains will function more artfully later. perhaps shoegazing will do the trick.

si gretchen kasi, sabi nya "mas glossy my hair". nagsoshort circuit tuloy brain cells ko. i didn't know barok english was the trend now in tv advertisements.

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January 12, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:14 AM

please allow me to be corny before i go to sleep.

watching princess hours on youtube makes me want to be a first-class klutz, live in korea, wear cute outfits, and marry a slit-eyed, stiff as a board, masungit, non-existent prince whose heart i can melt with my wide eyes and equally wild antics--like spitting rice onto his face when he says something silly like wanting to live with me for the next 100 years.

better sleep before i say something reaaaaaalllyyy stupid. lol.

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January 11, 2007
posted by Nk. at 6:16 PM

i miss my books. i wasn't able to save them when the flashflood hit our home during the typhoon. now all my paulo coelhos, mitch alboms, john grishams, nicholas sparkss, james pattersons, dan browns, pablo nerudas, gabriel garcia my mom's mario puzo (the very first "serious" novel i read was The Godfather when i was in fourth grade) are covered in dried mud, its pages twisted and torn and stuck to each other it makes me want to cry. i had already lost my jessica zafras to a fire that burned my friend's tita's house years before. this time, i lost my books to the water.

so now i am going to have my book wish list. lol..just realized that exactly next month is my birthday, soooo...*parinig* Audiobook Review
"It's a pretty grim world when I can't even feel superior to a toddler." Welcome to the curious mind of David Sedaris, where dogs outrank children, guitars have breasts, and French toddlers unmask the inadequacies of the American male. Sedaris inhabits this world as a misanthrope chronicling all things petty and small. In Me Talk Pretty One Day Sedaris is as determined as ever to be nobody's hero--he never triumphs, he never conquers--and somehow, with each failure, he inadvertently becomes everybody's favorite underdog. The world's most eloquent malcontent, Sedaris has turned self-deprecation into a celebrated art form--one that is perhaps best experienced in audio. "Go Carolina," his account of "the first battle of my war against the letter s" is particularly poignant. Unable to disguise the lisp that has become his trademark, Sedaris highlights (to hilarious extent) the frustration of reading "childish s-laden texts recounting the adventures of seals or settlers named Sassy or Samuel." Including 23 of the book version's 28 stories, two live performances complete with involuntary laughter, and an uncannily accurate Billie Holiday impersonation, the audio is more than a companion to the text; it stands alone as a performance piece--only without the sock monkeys.

From Publishers Weekly
As the Baghdad bureau chief for the Washington Post, Chandrasekaran has probably spent more time in U.S.-occupied Iraq than any other American journalist, and his intimate perspective permeates this history of the Coalition Provisional Authority headquartered in the Green Zone around Saddam Hussein's former palace. He presents the tenure of presidential viceroy L. Paul Bremer between May 2003 and June 2004 as an all-too-avoidable disaster, in which an occupational administration selected primarily for its loyalty to the Bush administration routinely ignored the reality of local conditions until, as one ex-staffer puts it, "everything blew up in our faces." Chandrasekaran unstintingly depicts the stubborn cluelessness of many Americans in the Green Zone—like the army general who says children terrified by nighttime helicopters should appreciate "the sound of freedom." But he sympathetically portrays others trying their best to cut through the red tape and institute genuine reforms. He also has a sharp eye for details, from casual sex in abandoned offices to stray cats adopted by staffers, which enable both advocates and critics of the occupation to understand the emotional toll of its circuslike atmosphere. Thanks to these personal touches, the account of the CPA's failures never feels heavy-handed.

From Publishers Weekly
Sebold's first novel after her memoir, Lucky is a small but far from minor miracle. Sebold has taken a grim, media-exploited subject and fashioned from it a story that is both tragic and full of light and grace. The novel begins swiftly. In the second sentence, Sebold's narrator, Susie Salmon, announces, "I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973." Susie is taking a shortcut through a cornfield when a neighbor lures her to his hideaway. The description of the crime is chilling, but never vulgar, and Sebold maintains this delicate balance between homely and horrid as she depicts the progress of grief for Susie's family and friends. She captures the odd alliances forged and the relationships ruined: the shattered father who buries his sadness trying to gather evidence, the mother who escapes "her ruined heart, in merciful adultery." At the same time, Sebold brings to life an entire suburban community, from the mortician's son to the handsome biker dropout who quietly helps investigate Susie's murder. Much as this novel is about "the lovely bones" growing around Susie's absence, it is also full of suspense and written in lithe, resilient prose that by itself delights. Sebold's most dazzling stroke, among many bold ones, is to narrate the story from Susie's heaven (a place where wishing is having), providing the warmth of a first-person narration and the freedom of an omniscient one. It might be this that gives Sebold's novel its special flavor, for in Susie's every observation and memory of the smell of skunk or the touch of spider webs is the reminder that life is sweet and funny and surprising.

From Publishers Weekly
This highly original first novel won the largest advance San Francisco-based MacAdam/Cage had ever paid, and it was money well spent. Niffenegger has written a soaring love story illuminated by dozens of finely observed details and scenes, and one that skates nimbly around a huge conundrum at the heart of the book: Henry De Tamble, a rather dashing librarian at the famous Newberry Library in Chicago, finds himself unavoidably whisked around in time. He disappears from a scene in, say, 1998 to find himself suddenly, usually without his clothes, which mysteriously disappear in transit, at an entirely different place 10 years earlier-or later. During one of these migrations, he drops in on beautiful teenage Clare Abshire, an heiress in a large house on the nearby Michigan peninsula, and a lifelong passion is born. The problem is that while Henry's age darts back and forth according to his location in time, Clare's moves forward in the normal manner, so the pair are often out of sync. But such is the author's tenderness with the characters, and the determinedly ungimmicky way in which she writes of their predicament (only once do they make use of Henry's foreknowledge of events to make money, and then it seems to Clare like cheating) that the book is much more love story than fantasy. It also has a splendidly drawn cast, from Henry's violinist father, ruined by the loss of his wife in an accident from which Henry time-traveled as a child, to Clare's odd family and a multitude of Chicago bohemian friends. The couple's daughter, Alba, inherits her father's strange abilities, but this is again handled with a light touch; there's no Disney cuteness here. Henry's foreordained end is agonizing, but Niffenegger has another card up her sleeve, and plays it with poignant grace. It is a fair tribute to her skill and sensibility to say that the book leaves a reader with an impression of life's riches and strangeness rather than of easy thrills.

and one of my favorites...i want a new copy:
In a distant, timeless place, a mysterious prophet walks the sands. At the moment of his departure, he wishes to offer the people gifts but possesses nothing. The people gather round, each asks a question of the heart, and the man's wisdom is his gift. It is Gibran's gift to us, as well, for Gibran's prophet is rivaled in his wisdom only by the founders of the world's great religions. On the most basic topics--marriage, children, friendship, work, pleasure--his words have a power and lucidity that in another era would surely have provoked the description "divinely inspired." Free of dogma, free of power structures and metaphysics, consider these poetic, moving aphorisms a 20th-century supplement to all sacred traditions--as millions of other readers already have.

if you give me a book i promise to make your life easier. really.

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posted by Nk. at 8:25 AM

i wish james blunt was my boyfriend. sure i'll probably be depressed most of the time listening to his songs but really, i just want to give him a hug and be the mother of his babies.

I'm listening to Goodbye My Lover and i think i'm gonna cry.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

come to mama, james...*sob*

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January 10, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:37 PM


i'm so bored today i could eat chocnuts the whole friggin' day. eat chocnuts until they come out of my nose.

i really wish i could talk about more social relevant things like making poverty history (i just signed up to One, just figuring out how i can "wear" the white band here...ooooohhhh but i have to say that orlando bloom was especially adorable wearing the white band *giggle*)...i signed up, do i get to have a picture like this too?

or talk about more serious things like how to eliminate corruption in the philippines...but everytime i think about the state of affairs here in this country there are only two things that i'm inclined to do: to laugh and the other is to cry.

besides, when people talk to me about philippine politics i get visions of clowns dancing the pandanggo. which is not good, not good.

so instead i'll just talk about nonsense things like, how i really want to curl my hair. so i don't have to comb it in the morning. sleep and wear hair. or was that wash and wear? whatever, the point is not having to comb the hair.

chocnut. chocnut. chocnut.

Touch me - take me to that other place
Reach me - I know I'm not a hopeless case
What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
It was a beautiful day
~ U2, It's A Beautiful Day

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January 9, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:01 PM

i was going to write about how nice that new Dove TV ad is, the one about raising girls' self-esteem. i remember having those same insecurities when i was in grade school. would it have made a difference if Dove had thought about this sooner, like ten, twelve years ago?

then i could have thrown a Dove bar or two at carlo and the rest of his jerk-friends when we were in grade school.

ever tried that site, My Heritage? tried it before it said i looked like this priyanka chopra...*feeling smug*...o di ba? antaray! tried it again it now says i look 80% kylie minogue, 75% cristina ricci, and wwwoohhooo amber hear this --- 75% kristin kreuk! *feeling smugger*!

aaaaaaaawwwwwww. Princess Hours (on youtube) has me hooked! i especially ssooooooo like reading the english subtitles! wweeeeeeeeeee *claps* sure the guys sometimes look a little uhhmmmm gay...but, overall the show is truly entertaining. i like it! *claps again like the weirdo that i am*

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posted by Nk. at 7:47 PM

oh my. ely buendia had a heart attack. at 36. still in the ICU at the Asian hospital now. pretty scary. hopes he gets well (though i still heart bamboo than i do him) soon. geniuses like him don't come around often in pinoy music.

way back in high school (wooooooo that was a long time ago hahaha) the Eraserheads and Rivermaya (with bamboo manalac as the vocalist then) were the soundtrack of our lives.

here's one of my absolute favorite e-heads songs:

Lift your head, baby, don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by with a smile
You can't win at everything but you can try.

Baby, you don't have to worry
'Coz there ain't no need to hurry
No one ever said that there's an easy way
When they're closing all their doors
And they don't want you anymore
This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway.

Girl I'll stay through the bad times
Even if I have to fetch you everyday
I'll get by if you smile
You can never be too happy in this life.

In a world where everybody
Hates a happy ending story
It's a wonder love can make the world go round
And don't let it bring you down
And turn your face into a frown
You'll get along with a little prayer and a song.

(Too doo doo...)
Let me hear you sing it
(Too doo doo...)

In a world where everybody
Hates a happy ending story
It's a wonder love can make the world go round
But don't let it bring you down
And turn your face into a frown

You'll get along with a little prayer and a song.

Lift your head, baby, don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by with a smile
Now it's time to kiss away those tears goodbye

(Too doo doo...)
Let me hear you sing it
(Too doo doo...)

~ With A Smile, the Eraserheads

i'm just so glad that pinoy bands are back now. for a while i thought i'd have to migrate to timbuktu or something just to get away from girls shrieking in unison and calling it singing.

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January 8, 2007
posted by Nk. at 3:20 AM

talking to tatay z, a thought popped to mind:

letting go -- unlike falling in love -- is a decision.

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posted by Nk. at 12:36 AM

can you believe it?! my PC is working, and my internet connection too! after getting drenched during Bagyong reming, the gaddamn things are still working! i love it!

and speaking of love....

isn't he just the cutest???? actually i'm not sure if he is a "he" or a "she". my sister and my cousin lindy and i just happened to pass this pooch by while he was being groomed in full view at a pet shop in SM megamall. and we just fell inlove with the pooch. we oooohhhhhd and aaaaahd and gawked at at the other side of the glass window, wishing we could squeeze err, hug the pooch to pieces!

i could have dognapped the dog if i had the chance. lintek, hahaha!

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January 6, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:30 PM

please tell me i'm not supposed to write the sequel to the next The Gods Must Be Crazy movie. Last night, the gods were in a joking mood and answered my prayers...lo and behold, light! and guess who were the instruments of such miraculous event?

our retired cop neighbor slash neighborhood drunkard and his posse of similarly inclined past-middle-aged-men-with-low-self-esteem-disguised-as-assholes.

Mr. Molo doesn't like us very much, his neighbors. for some reason his version of a morning praise is to throw profanities in our general direction (my parents' house and my aunts' house). he also i presume, cannot sleep peacefully at night without throwing insults and curses again, at us. i think he hates it that my dad won't join him and his posse in their nightly communion with San Miguel and god knows what else. i don't know why he hates my aunts. two ladies in their 50s, still single, dedicated teachers. maybe he has a crush on one of them but thinks he's too fat. whatever his reasons, he was at his funniest last night.

apparently he and his posse got friendly with a lineman from aleco. what a surprise it was for us to discover the lineman named Alex getting busy --
purposely skipping our houses because Mr. Molo said so. Yes ladies and gentlemen. The world unfortunately, is full of losers.

on with the story.

seeing this great injustice, Auntie Ning, flashlight in hand, confronted Loser Number 2 (that would be alex the lineman) and basically told him that it could be his last day at work, because tomorrow, she will make her presence and by this i mean Her presence, in aleco. Mr. Molo, not to be intimidated, zigzagged his way to through the straight path and asked

Auntie Ning *snarling*:
i am not talking to you. the drunk backed off.

so the lineman alex, almost crowing in fear at the thought of losing his precious 9-5 job, told the crowd gathering that yes, he'll fix everything, everyone will have lights in their houses.

we stood by and watched him sweat.

all the time Mr. Molo and his posse we're talking incoherently amongst themselves, perhaps savoring the only time they felt like real males.

in the end we all had lights in our houses.

and Mr. Molo
paid for it. all of it.

so geez,
thanks Mr. Molo.



did anyone watch Maging Sino Ka Man last night??

i was only able to hear it on the radio, but i got confused when all i heard at the end part were
"mmmmmmmpppfffh" and "hhhhmmffff" and some other weird noises.

this morning,
amber (who is in the US) buzzed me.

amber: omgaaah, kahit ****** kuno si sem magaling sya humalik
chocomanik: *rotfl*
chocomanik: di ko nakita un sis
chocomanik: kissing sens nila ni anne?
chocomanik: patingin *rotfl*
amber: may love scene na sila ngayon
amber: magaling sila pareho
Smallville *rotfl*
chocomanik: kaso lintek bawal utube dito
amber: sa STAIRS
chocomanik: wohow!
amber: takti. R rated ata MSKM
chocomanik: *rotfl*
amber: pix gusto mo
chocomanik: sige *lol*

*amber shows pictures*

and i was like, omigazh philippine tv is finally getting some! lol!

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January 5, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:22 PM

you know i've searched high and low in my anatomy, looking for a balat that would confirm that yes, malas kang babae ka, but did not find any. is it possible that i have a balat in my intestines?

almost a month after typhoon reming and still no electricity in our side of the planet. the other night a woman and two guys, prolly self-appointed heroes of the day went around the subdivision collecting "contributions" for the guys from Aleco - who were, for the love of God and country, laboring over the dropwires outside office hours - from the residents. after debating primarily with myself on the appropriateness of "contributing" to guys who are supposedly doing their jobs, i conceded to handing over P50 to the S.A.H. (Self-Appointed Heroes) - opo kuripot ako - in the hope of finally seeing the light.

but no.

as of this very moment we are still living in darkness.

we're getting used to it yes. so please refrain from shining that light in my eyes. i could go blind and run you over. fine i don't have a car. but i'm sure i could find something...

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posted by Nk. at 7:59 AM

when you say "lumalabas sila" do you mean "they are dating"?

don't mind the picture it's just an old shot of me and pwinkle sharing weird ideas.

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January 4, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:15 PM

and you thought i was finished for today.

last night my sister and i and some friends were talking of contingency measures in case disaster should hit -- again. as you guys know, a supertyphoon named Reming almost made an Atlantis of our Legazpi City, causing flashfloods and causing mudflow to the towns at the foot of Mayon. it is by far the worst disaster i have ever seen in my whole life. the way the water took over our houses so quickly still shocks me when i think about it.

suffice to say that we were lucky to be still sitting around pondering our future and drinking pineapple-gin last night, inspite of the fact that Aleco sucked ass (we're probably the only ones on the face of the earth who didn't have electricity yet).

riann said that somebody told her that there's even a worse disaster that would happen before January 13. this coming january 13. a prediction, she said a matter-of-factly.

we all looked at each other.

my sister decided to buy three more life jackets.

i'm just so sad i can't post pictures. our pc at home still needs a prayover after getting a little drenched during the typhoon. sad.

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posted by Nk. at 4:16 PM

oh my gawd. have i been living under a rock for the past what, two? three, four??!! years??

i just learned yesterday that lance bass, formerly of the now defunct boyband N*Sync is gasp* gay!

omigawd i always thought those shaved eyebrows looked especially suspiscious. better watch out girlfriends, if your guy's taas kilay is more taray than yours.

and oh me oh my, manny gets a makeover! Go manny! Just don't go taking those clothes to Congress okay.

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posted by Nk. at 3:03 PM

i nearly died and gone to hell on my way home yesterday.

after running some errands for my mother i hailed a pedicab (yes, for those of us probinsyanos its our version of the taxicab lol) to get my butt home. soon as the thing started to move i knew i was doomed.

the pedicab driver had anghit.

and oh my lord, did i regret pretending to always have dysmenorea to my P.E. teacher in college during our swimming lessons so i wouldn't have to wear a stupid swimsuit - now i can't hold my breath for even a measly 5 seconds, even if my life depended on it. which it did during that very moment.

as soon as the offending smell hit me my eyes nearly rolled to the back of my head, and i was pretty sure that had i removed the handkerchief over my mouth, foam would spill forth complete with my day's meal.

i wanted to leap out of the pedicab screaming, but lord who sits frowning at me from the heavens, i did not. it was new year i thought, how about helping this guy with his only means of earning a decent living? or okay i thought, were you rude to someone today -- this is your karma. magbakli ka na.

so i sat there and concentrated on the brighter side of life -- the beauty of the afternoon sky, the complex designs of the cracks on the ground, life as a dog...

i nearly cried when the pedicab stopped.

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January 3, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:47 PM

a little irritated today. last night someone promised to give me a call but didn't - i hate it when people don't keep their promises. like quit patronizing me because i don't need it, i can patronize myself just fine ok. lol.

heard that Blog aired a "Bianca tells SOME" instead of the "Bianca tells ALL" that Studio 23 and ABS-CBN had previously boasted to their viewers. For some reason the part where boy abunda asks bianca about zanjoe magically vanished, literally disappearing into thin air, as if it never was even part of the interview. Editing OUT at its worst. shouldn't have dragged the poor boy's name in their little stunt if they couldn't/ wouldn't/ didn't have the guts to show what really is the truth, or at least their version of it, to the public.

Gawd, as a sister aptly said, gag orders are soooo freaking 2006.

some good news: just got promoted 15 minutes ago. promoted -- yes, i do work for a living.

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January 2, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:14 PM

okay okay, i am not a lesbian, but omigazh, can anyone be more gorgeous than Bianca Gonzalez is here? I swear I am seeing The World's Most Beautiful Woman here. Now if only something like this can make it to the cover. Magpapainom ako ala Manny, lol.

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posted by Nk. at 4:34 PM

Wow, it's 2007!

I could've sworn that it was just the year 2000 yesterday, and I was smoking Capri after Capri stick trying to make some sense of a stack of white things with letters on them which later would be known as my thesis.

It's 2007. Life is still a mess.

Welcome back to me. LOL.

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