and she is? watching you. lulz.
still want to know?


  • Currently obsessed about: THE BEACH, THE BEACH!!!
  • Currently loving : photography and play time
  • Currently singing to : Meiko's Boys With Girlfriends
  • Currently reading : Michael Crichton's Next
  • next in line : Dork Whore
  • Currently craving : 1. a vacation somewhere where there's sand, sea, and shore. 2. that sinful, orgasm-inducing chocolate cake from Cyma 3. a DVD copy of Ang Lee's 1997 film, The Ice Storm 4. YOU.
  • currently advocating: come on, do something guys! Save The Elephants
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talk to me.


“If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?”~Gloria Steinem

had enough (of me)? here's the way out.
major thoroughfares.
familiar places (people i know).
delightful back alleys.
random finds.

Don't hold your love over my head ~ Come Back To Bed (john mayer)


banner: image not author's own, tweaked picture found in google. layout: tweaked blogskin by inksplash. labor: my cousin val. everything else: me.
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August 29, 2007
posted by Nk. at 8:33 AM

i arrived in the office this morning and found my chair to be missing. it's just a stupid chair, but couldn't the stupid idiot who took it at least thought that somebody was using that stupid chair to work?

i've always thought it silly that people have to put their names on their chairs here. isn't it simple enough? a chair stationed in someone else's desk = someone else's chair. simple. somehow some half-witted idiots manage to still miss that.

so much for my goodf&*%#@% morning.


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August 28, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:31 AM

please forgive the weird things happening with my blog folks. if you happen to be one of those unlucky souls who checked the blog around midnight kanina and was scared out of your wits of someone's face (mine) popping to almost half your computer screen, my deepest apologies. it was The Cousin's fault! (i owe him a pizza tho, for letting me order him around when he was already supposed to be sleeping hehe. thanks Val!). the new layout still needs some tweaking here and there, but i hope you guys (whoever wastes his or her time actually reading me geethankstalaga!) like the yellowhepatitisness look.


sad news tho. one of my closest friend's mom passed away yesterday. we went to the wake last night and though i really wanted to give my friend a hug, all i could do was hold his hand and mumble my condolences though i could see clearly in his eyes how devastated he was. i never know what to do in situations like this.

i know there's really nothing left to say or do except be there, but somehow i felt like a twit (whatever this means) fumbling for words there, or sitting there with our tropa trying not to do or say something stupid that would unnecessarily disturb the awkward silence. it's a comfort that we've been friends (our barkada literally almost grew up together) for so long that we can sit there in silence and just know that we'll be there for each other forever.

yaon lang kami digdi cy.

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August 25, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:00 PM

warning: (long) vent post.

i've been having a rough time this week, but when i woke up this morning, i decided to just have a better time and leave being emo alone.

but i guess paul newman was right: "It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black."

i met the devil on my way to the office this morning. he came in the form of a balding, son of a bitch excuse for a jeepney driver who acted like i owed him a huge favor for having my butt touch his jeepney's seats. i was running late, and when it looked like he was going to wait for passengers (who probably weren't born yet, considering the way he dilly-dallied while turning the volume up his music, "Celebration" by Kool and the Gang) -- i decided to ask for my fare back so that i could transfer to another jeepney which might still be able to help me get to the office on time.


it seemed like this driver was deaf. i suppose he lost his entire sense of hearing when i asked for my fare back. he turned Kool and the Gang off. and did not move. just sat there, waiting for the sky to open up and drop Noah, Moses, and Mother Theresa (we were near the cathedral) so he could ask them the winning numbers for the lottery. 20 million years later, he remembers why he was sitting in front of a steering wheel, and finally, moves the jeepney.

so. great, we were now cruising the damn road, like we were honeymooners sailing the waterways of Venice. there were four other passengers in the jeepney, but they didn't appear as distressed as i was. so i kept my mouth shut and tried not to reach for a sharp object (a pen will do) in my bag so i could poke the driver's eyes out. i even recited the serenity prayer (well, just the first sentence anyways), and thought about The Happier Times In My Life.

see, you know it when someone is being deliberately obnoxious. and mean. that driver was that. he would glance up his rearview mirror and have that "haha" look in his face. i had to look him up The People I Have Offended For Some Reason list, but he wasn't there. so i was really wondering what in the world i have done to deserve this misfortune.

and then he stops at another corner, and appears like he finally found a place where he could stay happily ever after forever. i knew i should have just gotten off The Jeepney From Hell and left, but because i trust in the goodness of humanity i asked him again (yes, i am that stupid) if he was going to stay there for long because i was really late already. the guy smirks and tells me that i should have rented a jeepney instead, or should have left my house at 4am. at right about this time all the blood in my anemic system rush to my brains, and i snap at him that had he given me back my fare we wouldn't have had a problem at all. (i'd still be late, but my morning wouldn't be ruined) you know what the guy does? he takes some random coins and says, "o sige, kunin mo na pamasahe mo o, kunin mo!" and glares back at me (wanting me to die, prolly.) WTF right? i got off the jeep shaking with anger and in near tears (yes, i have tear ducts) and the jerk, shouts something which i ignored, lest i want to end up doing this.

good thing i'm not as crazy. yet.

but i do need some hugs. or maybe some sharp objects.

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August 24, 2007
posted by Nk. at 8:22 AM

a moment of silence please, for malu fernandez' resignation from People Asia and The Manila Standard Today.





she will be forever remembered as She Who Tried To Be Witty And Acerbic -- But Failed.


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August 21, 2007
posted by Nk. at 6:54 PM

i just watched the news of bong alvarez hitting abs-cbn reporter AND TAEKWONDO BLACKBELTER gretchen malalad. if anything, that guy deserves a kick in the balls for being the ass that he is. what makes these guys think they can get away with everything? did all the "excitement" get to his head and remained there, obliterating every thing else including at least, some realization that cameras were all over the freaking place to record him sinking an elbow to gretchen malalad's face, then hitting her in the face and neck -- and then later still, grabbing her hair and scratching her neck when she fights back?

and then the guy later says sorry to gretchen, using his three kids as an excuse. wtf? spare your kids from this, mister. if you really cared about what your kids think you should have thought about that before throwing a cheap shot at the woman for everyone to see. and you obviously need to stop drinking.

and what about those people interviewed about their reactions and answering that the guy could have just been annoyed by the reporter, "nakulitan lang" that's why he hit the reporter. come on. this is exactly the type of mentality that breeds abuse! there is no excuse for violence, especially if you're drunk and your level of IQ has just dropped inversely proportional to the alcohol level in your system.

no one has the right to hit anybody - woman, man, child, the elderly - just because he or she is annoyed.

if you're drunk, can't even get your self home on your own, have mauled a taxicab driver who had the misfortune of having you for a passenger, hit a tv news reporter just doing her job, and have the audacity to justify your actions, then you truly deserve a kick in the balls.

you go girl! (photo by boso/andrew villasis @ flickr)

just thinking of guys like him makes me want to take up my aikido classes again.


here's gretchen malalad being interviewed by boy and kris after the incident this morning (video uploaded by ocyrn3 at

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August 20, 2007
posted by Nk. at 11:09 PM

i will be changing my blog look very soon (i know, i know, this is the nth time i'm saying this) and i'm twisting my cousin val's arm asking my cousin val's help right now to get rid of the pa-cutesy upside-down apples that have no connection whatsoever to me or my state of mind, or to what i actually like to eat (i like pears better).

i'm also thinking about whether or not i should pursue a career elsewhere. i'm at a point in my life now that i'm not really sure what i want to do with my life, but i'm not sure either, if packing up and moving to another continent will suddenly make things go *ding! this is it!*

a good, good friend from yonder has actually already sent me some papers and those papers are just waiting for me to read carefully, fill-up, and well, have processed, but i'm still hesitating, shuffling my feet and generally, procrastinating. ah, tita won't like it i know, sorry po tita...

so yeah. i'm thinking.

but maybe i should get moving.

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August 18, 2007
posted by Nk. at 2:13 PM

when i first saw this teaser in the philosophical bastard's blog, i went, who is this malu character and what is her picture doing beside a boob-exposing miss piggy?

so, letting my curiousity get the best of me, i googled malu fernandez and discovered a thousand and one bloggers vilifying and basically calling for her blood (and for good reason) to be spilled at their feet because of an article she wrote for Manila Standard Today and People Asia. so i read the article in question. and i have to admit, this woman tried people, she tried. so props to her for attempting to be the philippine's bored, pampered, couldn't care less version of paris hilton (after the girl has eaten half the cows in america) -- and failing miserably. see lady, isn't it a bit late to be acting so err, childish, whiny, and irresponsible? cause from the looks of it, you're already in your forties and should have at least something in that "elitist" hole in your head. i'm not mad at this woman tho, i'm just amused that there are middle-aged characters still trying to act like the simple life star believing that it's actually cool. *snores*

and yeah, bitching (with matching "wit and acerbic humor") is cool and acceptable but only if you are any of these characters:

(not necessarily in order of bitchiness)

1. miriam defensor-santiago (go ahead and insult her)
2. jessica zafra (she rules the universe)
3. janice dickenson and j. alexander slash runway diva in ANTM

this is how ya do it, bitch.
(miss j, strutting her stuff in ANTM)

4. barbara streisand (try working for her)
5. margaret thatcher (she has a seat in the House of Lords, she is a god!)
6. queen elizabeth (she isn't queen for nothing)
7. lucy liu in ally mcbeal (kickass)
8. alfie lorenzo (manager ni juday)
9. the queen of Narnia (do you live in a parallel universe inside a closet honey?)
10. the gay guy who does your hair and make-up/the person who waxes your bikini area (you wouldn't want to annoy this person)

so okay? now enough of you already.

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August 17, 2007
posted by Nk. at 11:30 PM

finally, my salamanca!

emir finally gave me my autographed copy of dean alfar's palanca-winning novel this afternoon, dropping by my office after arriving from manila. such a sweet guy, thank you emir!

my weekend will be for this!

emir also brought home my sony camera phone that lost its life sometime last year. i left it to some friends in manila hoping that the darn phone can somehow be brought back to life but no, it remained dead, waiting for a funeral, at some friend's house for months.

it's just too bad because i've been wanting to take pictures of other people on the sly like chris does, and i can't possibly do that with my sony t20. a new mobile phone is out of the question too.

and oh.

i must really be living under a big rock, because i wasn't aware that there was some drama happening in the blogosphere. 'course it helps that i'm a little bit self-absorbed these days. so since ignoramus ako sa events, i'd rather keep my mouth shut and stick to blogging about the topic i know (or pretend to know) best: myself. i do not wish to be controversial. yet. bwahaha.

and another oh.

did i tell you guys i was able to catch some Bagets on cable TV kanina? and gawd. que horror the outfits! aga muhlach had his pants tucked in up to his chest, raymond lauchengco was wearing what appeared to be djai's favorite bottom wear, *shudders* ...pekp*k shorts, and susmaryosep, herbert bautista was wearing a cropped (aka "hanging") sleeveless shirt (i'm scarred for life!)!!!

*search and destroys jologs elementary and high school pics*

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August 16, 2007
posted by Nk. at 10:15 PM

i broke my heart at the bookstore today. there was a big sale at the national bookstore and there i was drooling at all the books i wanted to buy (remember i lost ALL my books to reming?), -- arundhati roy's the god of small things, fyodor dostoyevsky's crime and punishment, yao ming & ric bucher's yao: a life in two worlds, cormac mcCarthy's the road, mark haddon's the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. but every time i picked out two or three of these precious things a voice in my head that sounded very much like my mother's, chanted, electricity bills, water bills, internet bills.

after prolonged aimless wandering in the bookstore's aisles i left with just one book, ha jin's the crazed (how appropriate), which i got at 50% off. here's what the back of the book says:

ha jin's powerful new novel is an unblinking look into the bell jar of communist chinese society and a portrait of the eternal compromises and deceptions of the human state. professor yang, a teacher of literature at a provincial university, has had a stroke, and his student jian wan -- who is also his prospective son-in-law -- is assigned to care for him. soon the devoted jian finds himself listening, in bafflement and increasing horror, to the professor's ravings.

are these just the outpourings of a broken mind or is yang speaking the truth about his family, his colleagues, and a system in which an intellectual is "just a piece of meat on a cutting board?" and will merely listening cost jian his future? for in china shaken by the tremors of tiananmen square, nothing is more dangerous than the truth.

i haven't torn up the plastic wrap yet (which i enjoy doing) so i've still yet to see if i'm going to like what's actually inside, but i'm pretty excited. also, emir is coming over tomorrow to give me a signed copy (!) of dean alfar's palanca-winning book, salamanca.

so, as them guys at chickenmafia would say, today's still a "yay!"

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August 15, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:21 PM

Quentin Tarantino is the coolest guy. Who wears a barong tagalog with jogging pants? and that, when you're meeting with the president of the philippines?

ohlala, the marcoses are umm, re-claiming their not-so-hidden wealth now? well what can you expect when PCGG people party with her?

the simple life. beat that, paris.

and lastly, my chatquote (nag-imbento! yay!) of the day:

bandwagontrader: so sa friendster, how am i supposed to embed?

me: ...

bandwagontrader: ang alam ko lang na embed is babae

and so ends the day. embed.

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August 14, 2007
posted by Nk. at 2:27 AM

so what is my horoscope for today?


The Bottom Line

You see beneath the surface of what people do; let them know that you see the truth.

In Detail

It doesn't take a lot of energy for you to see things that other people aren't seeing today. You can look beneath the surface of what people are doing with one quick glance. You can see that someone's smile is a false front, and that their happy-go-lucky attitude is just an act. If you feel like it, reach out to them and let them know that you can tell something is up with them. Let them know that you're there for them when they need to talk -- because soon they will.

yep. i am The Shrink With the Fantastic Telepathy-tic powers (wait. that sounds wrong.) Come to me all of you who are troubled...oooppss, not my line (uh-oh it's a sin to throw bibles at people so put that down).

so. do you have a problem? are you hurting? or you mad, scared, confused?

you can see that i'm in dire need of attention here...makatulog na nga.

and oh. it's my sister's birthday today!

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.
She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.
She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion,
someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.
She is your teacher, your defense attorney,
your personal press agent, even your shrink.
Some days, she's the reason
you wish you were an only child.
~ Barbara Alpert

(the horror! eyebags galore! yen is going to be so mad i posted this, haha!)

happy birthday Yen!

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August 13, 2007
posted by Nk. at 3:25 PM

here it is, jet li in the new san miguel beer tv commercial!


so kickass that our man manny could only stand there and watch. lol.

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August 12, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:19 PM

woohooo! the Philippines sweeps the Boxing World Cup, winning five of six fights versus mexico, GALEEEENGG!! boom boom baustista didn't win it for the main event against ponce de leon but hey, boom boom is just 21 there's still a lot of time para bumawi, so yeah Mabuhay Team Pilipinas!

and gerry penalosa isn't that guy amazing? that left hook to the body=knock out, classic!

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August 11, 2007
posted by Nk. at 10:57 PM

holy chinese noodles. was that jet li, the kickass martial artist slash international star slash overall cool guy doing the crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon-moves in the newest san miguel beer tv commercial? and was that manny pacquiao-turned-semi-extra on the side? ohlala.

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August 10, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:38 PM

i've always admired those people who can write so honestly, without fear of standing naked to the universe, those people who, at an age where you're supposed to be making the most mistakes in your life -- can write so clearly, so eloquently and with purpose, those people who can express their thoughts and make you really laugh out loud, cry, or simply just stop what you're doing and read. and think. and do something.

so here are two stories (which, under normal circumstances, are brought up only either when i'm drunk and therefore prone to spilling secrets, or, held at gunpoint (which hasn't happened yet), or, bribed with a huge amount of shopping money) that still does not qualify me to The Inspiring Group of People.

every year, my high school friends have our annual christmas reunion at my house. for several years now it has been the "tradition" because at home, it's okay to get drunk and get wasted. yes, i'm one of those kids who have cool parents who leave us alone except for those times when they have to ask us to tone down our noise a bit because the next thing our neighbors might throw our way (next to rocks) could be a sofa or kitchen table; or those times when they hear a commotion because somebody either threw up on the guy next to him, or forgot the difference between the bed and the toilet.


i remember a party a couple of years ago, when i haven't quit smoking yet. there we were, on the hundredth round of godknowswhat mixture of alcohol raffy has managed to create. there i was, puffing my cigarette and making random snide remarks when i see somebody standing in a rather dark corner of our yard, sort of watching us.

me to myself: who's that balding guy standing in the dark?

a second or two later, i realize that the balding guy is actually none other than my father (who by the way, is okay to drinking but absolutely abhors the idea of his daughters smoking). apparently he got up to check if he hadn't forgotten to lock our back gate.

so. what do you do when you're caught red-handed?

what else.

pretend that nothing happened.

and then there are things that you can't do anything but laugh about.

on a birthday celebration of a close guy friend some years ago, we decided, after several rounds of drinks, that the group should go see the beach. drunk and silly, the group -- two guys and three girls who'e been friends since high school, manage to drive to the beach (alive, praise the Lord) a town away. and because the beach was already closed (no more lifeguards at 2am), the five of us crawled under the wire fence with the big "No Entry" sign above it, all the while giggling with drunken glee.

now. who could resist the sea? certainly not five crazies who've had far too much to drink. except for one girl-friend who turned chicken (read: sober), all of us ran happily to the water. at 2 in the morning. wearing well, what you dare to wear only around people who you really trust, or you're sure won't be able to remember what you were wearing (or not) the next morning.

so there.

it would be two years later that one of the guy friends would tell us that, that time -- it was very much, a full moon.

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August 9, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:07 AM

a pic i took from our hotel window in HK

it's raining again. i like the rain a lot, but not when i have to work.

'coz rain is for curling up under a warm blanket. 'coz rain is for holding out your hand out to it and feeling it wet your palm and fingers. 'coz rain is for some hot coffee and some norah jones. coz rain is for emo. coz rain = lazy.

if my sky should fall, would you even call?
(~ What Am I To You, Norah Jones)

now playing: another rainy day by corinne bailey rae

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posted by Nk. at 1:44 AM

while the west continues its quest to end civilization as we know it, here in the Philippines, we like like to think we're big on humanity. there is no such thing as a guilty party here. everyone, including the guy currently exiled in Taytay, Rizal -- is a victim. (maaaan, he was just so depressed about losing that one game in the casino he built a lot of houses, those were really for the poor! like they can work there as maids, drivers, gardeners! what plunder are you talking about you retards?) a victim okay, not his or her fault. of course sometimes people are guilty, but thank god for our collective amnesia we forget awful things like these easily. we like to be happy you see.

so while arbet and some of us pinoys can wish that some folks in the government should just go and shoot themselves in the head do harakiri, them guys continue the merriment. and isn't it great that Bedol now wants to help reform our polls?

we are such goody-two shoes people! yay!

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August 6, 2007
posted by Nk. at 11:24 PM

well i hear that the new senate committee chairmanships have now just been approved.


let the looting work begin.

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August 4, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:14 AM

aaahh. the therapeutic properties of the internet.

i bet.

uh. when exactly is this gathering?

well the menu should be interesting.

you could always try the hospital.

ummm. about if you swell automatically?

discipline folks, discipline.

thanks to for making me cry when i wouldn't last night.

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August 3, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:06 AM

i hate being sentimental, so i'm going to keep it short.

"...this could be nothing, but i'm willing to give it a try..."
~ You Give Me Something (james morrison)

am i really? scaredy cat.

maybe i should be listening to daddy yankee instead (but his music does make me want to party, haha). god i miss the beach. can't believe summer passed and i didn't go to any! growing old up is so lame. where are my sugapa friends??

and now for more socially-relevant matters:

i hear that PBA Commissioner Noli Eala just got disbarred. apparently MORALITY is big deal in the league. ooookaaaay. in that case, maybe MORE people should get their license revoked eh?

and why oh why, didn't Jovito Salonga become President?

the other night i was able to catch a disturbing national geographic documentary about life in north korea. the situation in the "hermit country" was so that (there are concentration camps (!!) there. complain one time and you and your entire family could be sent there for life) i couldn't help but thank the gods for allowing me to be born in this insane country aka the philippines. imagine, no food, no internet, no phone, no TV, barely there social services, your president as your god, and most of all, no freedom? i would positively die. pinoys may often mistake clowns for government officials, but at least we can kick their ass if we really wanted to. (not to say that everything's dandy here and we should be all jumping for joy, we DO have A LOT of problems that need serious solutions -- but that's another post.)

i told Da-ae (who was from South Korea) about it the next day and was amazed with her perceptive take on living in democracy. i don't see a lot of 15 year-olds (and even 50 year-olds) appreciative, or caring, for that matter -- of being able to live in freedom that much here these days. it's just too easy to take something you've always had for granted like that.

err. did i say i was going to keep it short?

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August 2, 2007
posted by Nk. at 1:38 AM

my inbox in my myspace account is like a window to the mind of the unthinking western guy.

here's a message from eric, 22, of the united states:

subject: "wats up?"
my name is eric and im looking for a wife to bring home to the U.S. so if you are here say yes or no please write back.

yes i'm here, but you're not.

here's chuck:

subject: "i have been waiting for you"

come visit me?

are you sick?

here's dennis, really original:

subject: "wow"

are u single, if so can i come marry you

yes i'm single. but you can go marry someone else.

of course, local men do it too:

here's dyowel:

single right now???
can we hang out soon so we get 2 know each other better it ok 2 u dat if i get ur no. so we hav a communication,....
ill wait 4 ur rply ha

hirs my no *********


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