and she is? watching you. lulz.
still want to know?


  • Currently obsessed about: THE BEACH, THE BEACH!!!
  • Currently loving : photography and play time
  • Currently singing to : Meiko's Boys With Girlfriends
  • Currently reading : Michael Crichton's Next
  • next in line : Dork Whore
  • Currently craving : 1. a vacation somewhere where there's sand, sea, and shore. 2. that sinful, orgasm-inducing chocolate cake from Cyma 3. a DVD copy of Ang Lee's 1997 film, The Ice Storm 4. YOU.
  • currently advocating: come on, do something guys! Save The Elephants
This is a Flickr badge showing items in a set called memory stream. Make your own badge here.

talk to me.


“If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?”~Gloria Steinem

had enough (of me)? here's the way out.
major thoroughfares.
familiar places (people i know).
delightful back alleys.
random finds.

Don't hold your love over my head ~ Come Back To Bed (john mayer)


banner: image not author's own, tweaked picture found in google. layout: tweaked blogskin by inksplash. labor: my cousin val. everything else: me.
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October 30, 2007
posted by Nk. at 1:12 AM

It's just the beginning of my week at work tomorrow but I already want it to be the weekend. It's just going to be two days of work this week, what with Friday beginning the long Undas weekend. I'm quite unhappy with the way things are at work, but I'm sticking it out until I find something more...hmmm -- what's the term -- appreciative? Or, until my patience totally deserts me and I run amok at the office. Whichever way, I'll be waiting it out (for now) -- but, not without craning my neck for a better opportunity. Somewhere.


Today was the barangay erections errr, elections. And me and my mom missed it by five minutes. Talk about a bummer eh? And yeah, tell me about it Arbet. Monies were going around here (no different from every national elections) -- in fact, 100 bucks found its way to yours truly the other day. I was going to ask the housefolk to stop tolerating this shit (no matter how big or small the amount), but hell, 100 bucks can get you a yummy combo meal at Mcdo whereas my idealistic views could not. Rest assured tho, the housefolk didn't sell their votes, some people were just stupid enough to think so.

If people are dreaming of change for this country, well hell, we better start looking at our school clubs and whatnots. Corruption is everywhere, and many start it young. Ask the kid distributing his uncle's cash gifts to the barangay folk.

Anyway. Off to sleep now. Later's another day.

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October 25, 2007
posted by Nk. at 7:01 PM

Dear God,

Now that we've granted pardon to recently convicted plunderer and former president Joseph "Erap" Estrada (who I'm sure You're quite familiar with), we hope that You will be pleased with our stupidity collective amnesia idiotic politicking lack of sense of justice forgiving nature and grant us a more stable economy and country free from bullshit from people who think, feel, and claim that they are Your gifts to us thus we owe them our hard-earned money to maintain their golf-happy lifestyles, shopaholic wives, and party-going, coño kids (who, in the future, may or may not engage in government transactions they are not supposed to dabble in and eventually have their time in the limelight in the investigating body we call The Senate) while we suffer in silence, or, for those able -- hurl invectives and wring our hands in the general direction of the government through our blogs.

Grant, we humbly implore, public officials who actually give a shit about us and our children's future; media institutions that don't fuck around with our minds and emotions with their own brand of peddling the "truth"; and a people who will be able to separate fact from fucked up fiction and by God (yup, that's You), have the will to do something about it.

Also, I want a boyfriend this Christmas. Thanks.


(sorry for the expletives, but you're not against free speech yes?)

- niki


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October 24, 2007
posted by Nk. at 10:27 PM

I found this at AmberMac's blog while bloghopping via twitter:

In this age of fashionable eating disorders and beautiful fair things, it's becoming increasingly difficult to have confidence in one's own "imperfect" skin. I can't say I am completely immune to these often ludicrous calls to make my skin whiter, my wavy hair straighter (and therefore "prettier"), or my Asian boobs bigger (and therefore "hotter"). I have tried bleaching (which involved a ridiculous amount of time squirming and fidgeting naked in front of an electric fan for the bleaching agents to dry and take effect -- no joke since the damn thing was gaaadawful itchy!!) some years back, but I gave up after realizing that I looked better with my natural tan than with a yellowish, fairer skin. Also, I am simply too lazy (and too poor) to get to that Lucy Torres-Gomez whiteness. I mean if God wanted me to be a white beauty he could have just given me white parents forchrissakes. So yeah. I have gone the Bianca Gonzalez way and I'm proud of the skin I'm in. =)

And tho I have constant delusions about my weight and engage in crash diets (that often fail at the sight of chocolate and/or ice cream and fries anyway), I'm pretty satisfied with my body - bloated moments and all.

So my point is? Nothing much really, since beauty, as they always say, is still very much in the eye of the beholder (but you can always ditch this crap and trick 'em with your extraordinary makeup and padding skills!).

But it would help if you quit making the TV your mirror. Okay. We. We quit making the TV our mirror.

At the end of the day, we'll still know how beautiful -- or ugly, we really are.

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posted by Nk. at 12:16 AM

It's prolly just PMS, but I am loving this song at the moment.

The Fear You Won't Fall
Joshua Radin

Digging a hole and the walls are caving in
Behind me air's getting thin but I'm trying
I'm breathing in
Come find me
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it
That's part of it all
Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall
It hasn't felt like this before
It hasn't felt like home before you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
And I hate the phone
But I wish you'd call
Thought being alone
Was better than was better than
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you
Can't get my mind off of you
And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel
This way
And I miss you more than I should
Than I thought I could
Can't get my mind off of you

I don't remember when the last time was, or if there is or was even a last time to remember. But I miss it.


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October 23, 2007
posted by Nk. at 2:28 AM

wish you were beer.

(photo taken during raziella's PRE-birthday bash. Note the emphasis on "pre", so we're expecting a bigger, better, boozier actual party lolz!) some more photos here.

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October 18, 2007
posted by Nk. at 7:00 PM

I miss being away.
I long to be the stranger in a strange place.

A stranger with a holga camera and lots of time in hand. And no pontio pilato to put things on hold.


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October 15, 2007
posted by Nk. at 2:39 PM

o hai! i can has planet with smarter humans in it plz? kthnxbai.
(photo from albay tourism)

If you're in the Philippines and you haven't experienced swimming with this guy yet, you're missing something really, really magical. Whale sharks -- abundant here in the Philippines (especially in Donsol and Batangas) are enchanting, enchanting creatures.

Course I nearly drowned our guide hanging on for dear life (mine!) because I didn't know how to swim (my version was flailing in the water) and use the damn snorkels, but seeing a whale shark the size of a house swimming underneath me had to be one of the scariest and most exciting moments of my life (definitely in that category of feeling something for that guy four years ago). And the fish (it is the largest living fish on the planet) was so close I could almost touch it! And there were like six of them in that area. At the same time. Now these guys aren't a threat to humans, they only eat plankton and small squids. For something so big this guy's diet is pretty humble. We should learn something from this guy.

Come to think of it, if people only had more encounters with other species living in this planet maybe, just maybe, we'll stop being so self-absorbed for a while and think twice about throwing that plastic bag to the ocean the next time we go to Boracay or Puerto Galera.

And speaking of plastics, Lucky Me instant noodles has a new, more environment-friendly packaging - from those killer styrofoam containers our favorite quickie meal now comes in the same material as your paper cups. We all know that styrofoams - though reusable sometimes, are non-biodegradable and non-recyclable. And even if there are ways to reuse them again, admit it, most of us simply are not interested and don't have the time to make cute styrofoam creations. Unless you're artsy craftsy like this person here. Or Martha Stewart. My only beef against the new instant noodles packaging is the plastic fork that's not only made of plastic but is just about as big as a five-month old baby's utensils. Kinda stupid, unless your msg market are just the kids (which is unfair). Do away with this stupid miniature fork please Mondenissin people okay?

Also, try this folks. The next time you eat in that favorite fast food chain of yours, try making a suggestion to the folks in charge to quit using plastic utensils because 1. they're virtually useless in spearing that yummy crispy chicken and 2. they're boring. My sister tried it at a local Jollibee outlet and the next time we came to visit they served the food in lovely sunny yellow ceramic plates and real forks and spoons. So we eated more happily.

So yay! for blog action day!

Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day

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October 14, 2007
posted by Nk. at 8:51 PM

Okay. So here I am still trying to come up with something worth posting for the blog action day today when I stumble upon this awesome, awesome photo: shall I help you pick your jaw from the floor? I just had to blog about this. It's just, wow. More amazing hand art in Bored Night.

*scrambles back to blog action day post attempt*

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posted by Nk. at 5:08 PM

Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day

Tomorrow is blog action day, so I am trying to remember the time when I had to stop myself from bitchslapping somebody for throwing his empty Chippy pack out the car to the street. People never cease to amaze me when it comes to irresponsible behavior towards the environment. And yet these are the same guys who complain about the clogged drainage systems AND sucky politicians. But I digress.

I've also added several clickables to my blog. Aside from links to the World Wildlife Fund, Free Burma, and my other personal advocacies, I've added three more:

First one is ripple, which helps us people who spend 90% (and up?) of our time in the internuts help change the world by just the simple clicks of our mouse. Just think, with that one click you can help provide a community access to clean water and sanitation - while watching your favorite porn! See? You're not the lowlife you've imagined yourself to be afterall. You can do something.

I also added a link to Youth for Human Rights. How many people do not know their human rights? Seriously, people need to be educated more about their rights as a human being if only to make those who know it think twice about abusing them. Ignorance may be bliss, but not where your (and your loved ones') rights are concerned.

And ah yes, as you can see, I have hot, hot Dave Navarro with his mouth taped there at the bottom of my sidebar. It's a link to youthaids-ALDO, an organization which has been committed to the fight against AIDS since the 1980s. Thanks to my mother being in the Department of Health for a long, long time my sister and I grew up with a decent understanding of this disease and the people afflicted with it. Education is key if we are to prevent this disease from taking more lives around the world.

And as for Dave Navarro -- he causes me global warming so I make sure his half-naked picture is on my blog to help spread the ugh, awareness. (That'll teach you! You hot hot..tamale. Whatever that is.)

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October 10, 2007
posted by Nk. at 8:28 PM

Pronunciation: E-'lü-siv, -'lü-ziv
Function: adjective
: tending to elude: as a : tending to evade grasp or pursuit <elusive prey> b : hard to comprehend or define c : hard to isolate or identify

I saw this pretty little butterfly the other day. I was on my way to work when a fluttering of blue caught my eye. Because I am always a curious cat and easily given to distraction, I rummaged the insides of my very orderly bag madly for my camera to get myself a magnificent shot (which did not happen, as you can obviously see from the photo above). I had to tiptoe after the little thing (it was pretty elusive, as all butterflies probably are) and as expected, I couldn't get anywhere near it. I chased the butterfly like a doofus for about 10 minutes, taking photos of wet rock, puddles, and random pieces of garbage along the way. I gave up after realizing that the butterfly wasn't going to cooperate with this human and that I was already running late for work.

I remember thinking as I walked away, all I wanted was a good shot.

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October 6, 2007
posted by Nk. at 5:14 PM

Poor BritBrit. first they take away her kids, now they want to take away her dogs too. sad-orama, really. why not just let her be, with her chihuahuas? animals have therapeutic powers, y'all. maybe dressing those little cute doggies in drag and diamonds will help britbrit learn how to take care of the kids better, or, even better, it'll inspire her to be *gasp* a better person! (sure is a "better" overload here) who knows? anything is possible in this world! (kris aquino has a platinum record guys, a platinum record you hear? but i digress)

But wait. are these therapeutic pets still ummm...err...alive?

Okay. leaving britbrit alone now.

About the Desperate Housewives brouhaha. I don't watch this show (and I don't intend to watch it at all), but I totally understand why many felt bad about that line uttered by teri hatcher's character in a recent episode. I wasn't going to comment about this issue but what's this I hear about getting DH to air a future episode praising Filipino doctors (to the high heavens?) to reverse the damage that has been done? I don't know but isn't this kind of over the top already? If the DH people didn't care enough to check the facts before airing a possibly offending remark in their show, wouldn't a "pacifying" episode seem like an insincere thing to do, and do we really need to ask them to do this? Ask them to say something good about our medical professionals?


So I'm watching this k-drama Bad Couple online. It's about a bull-headed woman duping this guy endowed with "perfect genes" to bed so she can have a baby sans the marriage. I might have to take that option one day so I'm getting some pointers. Heh.

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October 4, 2007
posted by Nk. at 12:39 AM

photo from jurablog's photostream @ flickr


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October 3, 2007
posted by Nk. at 1:08 PM

I have an old notebook cover that I have kept for years. On it, are these words:

There is a wonderful,
mystical law of nature
that the three things we crave
most in life --
happiness, freedom and peace of mind -
are always attained by giving them
to someone else.
(author unknown)

I have been sitting in front of my computer wondering how I, your regular Self-Involved Individual am going to introduce the concept of getting involved. This morning I signed up for Free Burma! action and tomorrow, I shall be joining the International Bloggers' Day for Burma on the 4th of October. Having a glimpse of Dawn's life in Myanmar has both touched and humbled me, and reminded me of how lucky I am (despite of the millions of things we can and are complaining about) to be actually where I am now, free to do and say (bitch?) what I want and how.

These are the last paragraphs on Dawn's last entry on her blog before the Burmese government cut off the internet connection in Burma:

My friend said I was brave blogging about this when I am confused about where I stand. I was not being brave. I am a coward hiding in the office. At first, I started removing my photo in my profile, and was going to hide the posts that provide personal details of me. Then I decided not to because I am not doing anything wrong.

In the midst of all these chaos, I am very afraid. I am afraid for myself, I am afraid for my family, and I am afraid for the country.

I do not think that my currently shitty life can hold a candle to that.

More brave souls at Burmese Bloggers Without Borders.

Here is how you can take part in this action for a Free Burma!

1. Publish a posting (Bulletin Board, Forum, Blog, Social Network, Static Website…) on the 4th of October with the header: “Free Burma!”

2. Tag it if you can with “Free Burma”

3. Choose a grafic from the Grafics page and

4. Link to there your readers will find some informations about the campaign and Burma and a participant list which you can join. Even if you're a webmaster of a bulletin board or social network you will find a special Group List to join.

5. Feel free to write any additional text you want

If you have no website or blog we need you even more: Please help us to spread the word across the internet, tell your neighbours, friends or kids and first of all: Sign their list of participants.

Labels: ,

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October 2, 2007
posted by Nk. at 9:48 PM


Just when I've finally succumbed to return to The Club of People Who Will Not Live Beyond 70, the cosmic forces of the universe connive to thwart my intentions and puts a no smoking sign where I was about to puff The First Stick After Four Years of Being My Mother's Good Daughter.

See my mother used to work in the Department of Health. When I was in high school we would have boxes and boxes of condom in our house -- meant for distribution to the faithful folks in the barangays. My mother is such a firm believer in family planning that she once suggested that I bring a box of condoms and distribute it to boys in my High School -- my very Catholic high school which was run by Societas Verbi Divini priests (at that time, by a particularly handsome young priest who my girl friends and I enjoyed watching play lawn tennis every afternoon). course I didn't bring those colorful condoms to school (and what, upset Father Crush? no wei!)

My point is, well...nothing really. I just wanted to prattle about a random happier time in my life (yup, giggling with my friends about Father Crush qualifies as such), because today wasn't a very good day for me.


I wonder if God will still listen to me pray even if I don't go to church anymore?

In case He/She is listening/reading.

Dear God,

May I ask please if Your Almightyness has a plan for me? And if there is, could Your Graciousness please bonk me in the head with it so I can see it? Or does Your Everlastingness prefer that I roll my way, which, based on my limited capability to calculate the future, means basically heading to a place more popularly known as nowhere? I do hope that I have not offended You in any way, and I do trust that You will answer me in Your most perfect time and way. Thank You for taking the time off Your very busy schedule for me. And thank you for coffee. And friends who remember. And honesty. And pretty things like this:



If The Lord Most Powerful will answer me any time soon, may I please request that You do so not in a loud, booming voice? I'm afraid that I might have a nervous breakdown, and all would be lost.

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